What I Learned After Joining An INFP Group On Facebook
An Outlook on Personality Types And How We Should Use It In Our Lives
I came across the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) right after high school. I took Psychology as my major at a local college and around this time, I was consumed by the concept of understanding your personality and discovering your true self. From Carl Jung’s Archetypes to the Enneagram Types, humanity has been driven for hundreds of years to work for the same goal — to encapsulate the complexity of human personality into simplified models. Basically, a simple and better way to call ourselves.
When I first found out my MBTI type at 16 years old, I was ecstatic, to say the least. I never felt so understood in my whole life! As an angsty (self-absorbed) teenager, it was a huge relief to find a fitting explanation for why I felt everything way too much.
My results showed that I was an INFP. The Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (F), Prospecting (P) type.
You’ve probably seen one of your friends put a combination of these letters in their Twitter or Instagram bio:
@mashedpotatoes
ENFP-A ✨@thestrategist
INTJ-A ♚
Looks cool, right? But there has to be more to it than an interesting way of describing yourself. I’m sure Katharine and Isabel Briggs didn’t create this four-letter naming model just for fun. So what do these really acronyms mean?
The INFP
Each of the five letters of the MBTI acronyms corresponds to a specific trait. The combinations of such traits form the various types and type groups that make up the whole 16 personality type framework. The four main groups include the Analysts, Diplomats, Sentinels, and the Explorers.
The INFP type is often stereotyped as the “cry-babies” of the MBTI. But even though we tend to have too many “feels”, INFPs possess quite some unique qualities.
At our core, we value authenticity, creativity, compassion, and empathy. As Mediators, we like to keep harmony in our environment but sometimes get a bit too overwhelmed with problems that we can’t focus on simultaneously.
We appear to be shy and reserved but beyond the withdrawn demeanor is an inner flame waiting to be unraveled. When you become one of the very few people whom INFPs let in their world, you'll discover that we have a knack for self-expression (or at least that’s what we like to portray).
But don’t bother giving us a phone call. We won’t pick up.
For a while, I didn’t bother so much with being an INFP even though I strongly identify with it. I remained in my own little world until recently, when I decided to join an INFP Facebook group.
When I saw the photo banner of a wide-eyed cat, I immediately knew that these were my people.
The Need For Community
Quickly after I was accepted, I scrolled over to some older posts to see what they discuss in the group. Aside from the EXTREMELY relatable memes that I always look forward to, the members usually post questions asking for advice on relationships, career, friendship, and life itself.
Seems like we can all relate to being in a perpetual state of existential crisis.
“Am I the only one who doesn’t know how to flirt to save my life?”
“Are INFPs needier by nature?”
“What do y’all do stop overthinking?”
Some common struggles I also observed were about finding a suitable career path, having multiple ideas at a time — thus never sticking to one project, and finding friends. But aside from the struggles, we also share our passion for art, music, and animals. Some of us are pursuing an artistic hobby like painting, drawing, digital art, and writing poems. Others initiate threads about their favorite musicians or share photos of their adorable pets.
Coming together and giving emotional support is something that I genuinely admire about the group. It brings great comfort to know that there’s a place where we can openly ask and share a piece of ourselves — where our personal battles are validated and listened to.
It’s not an echo chamber for misfits and the misunderstood. It’s an environment where familiar strangers voice out their opinions with respect and openness. And maybe that’s just what we need — a support system that will help us figure out parts of ourselves and untangle the knots of confusion in our brain. And perhaps, all it takes is one brave effort to share a story.
It’s Not All About The MBTI Type
In the end, our personalities alone can’t dictate the human condition. There are multiple layers to unlock in the attempt of understanding our psyche. We come from different backgrounds and cultures. We are changing every day and adapting to each new circumstance.
We cannot encapsulate ourselves into a four-letter description of our personality. Knowledge of your MBTI type is only a bridge to greater self-awareness. The description for your type can be really fitting and relatable and it’s always fun to know how accurately it can depict your character. It can tell a lot about the way we approach certain things or where we base our decisions but it is not an overall explanation for who we are.
It also shouldn’t be the sole basis for why our current relationships aren’t working or why we can’t make new friends. Compatibility can’t be measured alone by a personality test result. It takes time to get a know a person on a deeper level. Instead, we should utilize our knowledge of the MBTI types to start a conversation, relate to others, and help improve our relationships with our loved ones.
For me, learning that I was an INFP became a tool in digging deeper into what I needed to improve in terms of communication, taking things personally, and accepting criticisms. It’s definitely not an easy road to conquer or even just admit that these things can be problematic. But I realize that it’s a personal responsibility to think beyond who I am and focus on being a better person for myself.
At the same time, it became a useful baseline for realizing my strengths and focusing on them. I learned that I don’t have to suppress parts of myself to appear more acceptable to others. There is strength in embracing one’s uniqueness.
What started out as a way of getting validation became a way of improving my behavior and outlook on life. And as I continue to change, I slowly became more flexible, adaptive, and accepting of myself and the way others are.
We’re all just trying to learn a little something about ourselves each day. In whatever medium we find most appealing to us, I hope we see beyond what these labels say about us. And however cliche it is, we should strive to look deeper within ourselves to answer the fundamental question that for a long time puzzled humanity — “Who am I?”
